


Phil's Horrible No Good, Very Bad Day

by uofmdragon



Series: Phil's Day [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (and Hope Mackenzie), Antoine Triplett Lives, Bad Days, ClintCoulson Remix Challenge, Embarassing situations, Jossed, M/M, at leat Framework!Trip lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-07 23:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11069025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uofmdragon/pseuds/uofmdragon
Summary: Phil’s day just keeps getting worse and he wonders if anything can make it better.





	Phil's Horrible No Good, Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Whisp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whisp/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Must be a Saturday](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011028) by [Whisp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whisp/pseuds/Whisp). 



> For the CC-Remix Challenge.
> 
> Beta'd by lapillus
> 
> The title is a take on the children's book, _Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day_

The only reason Phil notices that it is now Tuesday instead of Monday is because May just happens to be standing next to antique clock that chimes every hour and it's chime goes on forever (halfway through he's annoyed enough to glance at his watch to see just how long he has to listen to this - his watch already says 12:01 in purple neon (clearly someone has been messing with the settings of his smart watch again)).    
   
The mission was supposed to be simple surveillance, back to old school SHIELD techniques with Hill now in the Director's chair.  After the mess with the Framework and Mace's death, Hill had stepped up to take control of SHIELD and to help plan Avengers' missions (partially due to the ratification of the Wakandan Amendment to the Slovakia Accords). Fury had even returned to work black ops, because that was Fury's idea of retirement.    
   
Phil hated to admit it, but this mission was terribly dull. He tried to avoid thinking about it and didn't say it, because that would certainly jinx it.  Tried, was the operational word.  So of course, a group of masked assailants attempted to rob the party.  In clown masks and jump suits, of all things.  
   
His team attempted to keep their covers, but it ended in a chase on foot through a rain and mud. Phil's part of the chase ended when Daisy accidently sent a quake in his direction, causing him to go tumbling into a tree, and then into the nearby pond.  Daisy's aim with her powers was typically much better than that. To be fair to her, Phil had swerved at the last second, apparently right as a tree branch had whacked Daisy in the head. He still wasn't sure he'd managed to fall into the pond, because the pond had been to the side of the tree.  
   
They wrapped up the mission and went back to the Bus.  There Phil slogged up the stairs and to his office to dry off and put on a new suit. He stripped down, tossed the old the suit, wrapping a towel around his waist as he opened his closet to find a new suit to put on and found…  
   
No suits.  
   
Not one.  
   
No trousers.  
   
No suit jackets.  
   
No dress shirts.  
   
Phil's eyes narrowed on the ties that remained.  He flipped through them quickly and discovered that they were all novelty ties purchased by Clint. There was the [heartbeat](http://www.ties.com/wild-ties-navy-blue-heart-beats-tie) tie given as a 'Yay, you're alive!' gift, the [ Captain America](https://www.zazzle.com/captain_america_assemble_tie-151356862718897381) tie (birthday gift), and [the tiger skin](http://www.ties.com/v/a/the-american-necktie-co-tiger-animal-print-orange-tie) given as a 'Yay, we're fucking again' gift.  
   
Phil stepped aside, going to the dresser and finding a pair of jeans to pull on and a t-shirt.  He climbed into the small shower cubicle with hopes of taking a hot shower. He turned the water on and yelped as the cold water fell on him. Apparently, everyone else had the same idea, because the water pressure was horrible and there was no hot water left.  
   
Phil gritted his teeth and cleaned himself quickly to get the pond scum off of himself. The cold from earlier and his desire to hurry made it take longer and caused him to bang his elbows, drop the soap, banging his head when he went down to pick it up.  He cursed at himself and was glad to step out.  
   
Phil reached for a towel…. only to find that all his towels were gone, besides one hand towel. Phil glared at it and then did his best to dry what he could (attempting to wring it out at least twice, but that didn't really help, except alleviate some of Phil's frustration by tightly squeezing the towel).    
   
He pulled on the clothes and went to find a hoodie or something else that would help warm him up. He frowned, spotting the hoodie that typically smelled like Clint, but unlike the rest of his wardrobe, this was the one item that had been washed and now smelled of detergent.  
   
Phil shuddered in the coolness of his office and he quickly pulled the hoodie on as he considered what to do in the few hours it would take to get back to base. He had two options: a) he could get his report done now and go straight home when they got back to base or b) he could sleep now and do his report at base.  
   
He sighed as he pulled it on to stave off the cold and considered what to do next.  They were a few hours out, so if he got his report done and he could go straight home when they returned, or he could get some sleep and do the reports at the office.    
   
Frowning, Phil tried to remember Clint's schedule. In a fit of pique, he smacked the side his head with bottom part of his palm.  "Think Phil."  
   
Phil couldn't think of anywhere else Clint might be, so there was a chance that Clint would be home (unless Phil was forgetting something, which Phil would admit only to himself that it was a possibility). Phil could remember the last time the saw Clint and a quick count back caused him to realize that he was going to have start counting in months rather than weeks or days.  That definitely meant that he needed to get the damn reports done before they landed.  
   
Eying his cot, Phil shook his head and headed away from temptation and toward the one thing that could help him stay awake: Coffee.  It was a priority, if he was going to get these reports done. He headed to downstairs to where their small galley was and frowned the dregs of some left in the pot.  He poured it out, because there wasn't enough for a full cup or even really half a cup. He opened the cupboard and discovered that the coffee tin was missing.  
   
"No," Phil whimpered, quickly moving a few things around, but there was no coffee. (Mentally - Phil fell to knees and screamed in frustration to the cold, uncaring world).  In reality, Phil took a deep breath and called out.  "Daisy?"  
   
"Yeah, AC?" Daisy answered.  
   
"What happened to the coffee?"  
   
"Uh, We drank it all?"  
   
"Seriously?" Phil said, making a face. "There's none left?"  
   
"Wasn't there some left in the pot?" Trip called back.  
   
"Not enough for a full cup and I dumped it already," Phil replied as he filled a cup with water, before stepping out and heading back.  
   
"Sorry, Coulson," Trip said, leaning out of Daisy sleeping cubicle.  
   
"It's alright," Phil said, giving him a weak smile.  
   
"Hell of a mission," Trip said.  "You okay?"  
   
"Long day," Phil admitted.  
   
"Get some sleep?"  
   
"Paperwork, so I can go home when we land," Phil said.  "You?"  
   
Trip shook his head.  "Need to unwind a bit first."  
   
"But we're jotting some notes, so we don't forget," Daisy added.  
   
"Good idea," Phil said with a slight nod and heading back up to his office.  Once there he booted up his computer and got to work. He had to cross reference a few things, putting a little more care into the document, because he knew he was tired.  He was nearing completion when the Bus hit some turbulence and the water spilled across his laptop.  
   
"No," Phil murmured as he tried to save the work, but the computer turned off.  "Fuck!"  
   
Phil headed downstairs to see if Daisy was awake.  The sleeping cubicles were all dark and when Phil plastered himself against Daisy's, he could hear her faint snores. (Later, he would realize that could very well have accidently discover Daisy and Trip were having sex by doing this and be surprised that he didn't, considering how his day had gone up to this point.)  
   
   
Stepping away from the cubicles, Phil glanced at the cabin and decided that he didn't dare want to risk Melinda's ire (especially when everything seemed against him today). He headed back to his office and managed to dig out the old paperwork forms. He wrote it out in longhand in pencil, because with how the day was going the ink pen would probably break and spread ink all over the paper.  He still managed to break three pencils in half and tear the paper when went to erase a mistake. As Phil finished the report, the landing light flipped on. He carefully tucked them into a waterproof container.  
   
The papers were thrust into Fury's hands as he walked off the gangplank, moments before he tripped on something and faceplanted in front of everyone.  
   
Two black boots appeared in Phil's line of sight.  "Coulson?" Fury asked as Phil felt a hand reach down and help him to his feet.  
   
"I'm ready to go home now," Phil stated as he met Fury's good eye.  
   
"I'll call someone to drive you," Fury stated.  "You look like hell."  
   
"Thank you," Phil murmured.  He paused.  "Any word on Barton?"  
   
"Avengers were called out earlier," Nick stated, frowning.  "Sorry, Phil."  
   
Phil nodded. Their schedules just weren't aligning and Phil had a feeling it would only be a matter of time, before Clint decided that this thing that they'd started when Phil had come back from the dead wasn't worth the hassle anymore.  Probably today, if the trend continued.  
   
Thankfully the trip to the carpool was uneventful.  Though the first driver picked someone else up, the second driver never showed.  Phil was debating calling for a third when Mack showed up and offered him a ride.  Phil gratefully accepted, happy to climb into Mack's car.  
   
"How's Hope?" Phil asked, once they were on their way.  
   
"She's doing good, adjusting fast to this world," Mack answered.  "How's Trip?"  
   
"Back to being a full agent," Phil replied.  
   
Mack was silent.  "Tremors?"  
   
"She's adjusted, misses you, but she gets why you're not doing field operations," Phil replied. "She'll probably show up in the garage within a day or two to try and reconnect."  
   
"If she doesn't tomorrow, I'll go find her," Mack vowed.  Phil smiled, things had been awkward between Daisy and Mack when Mack had come out of the Framework. Mack's refusal to leave the Framework had hurt both Daisy and Elena.  However, Daisy and Fitz had built a body for Hope and transferred her consciousness and then they'd done the same for Trip. Daisy had taken to educating Trip about a world not run by Hydra, while Mack had concentrated on taking care of Hope. Phil hadn't noticed the strains in the Daisy-Mack friendship until it was too late since he'd been making sure that Fitz would be alright after what had happened in the Framework and with Aida.  He'd also had to deal with restructuring SHIELD and handing over the Director's chair to Maria.  Fitz had tried to adjust, but ultimately taken a sabbatical from SHIELD, whether that would become permanent or not, well time would tell.  Jemma kept tabs on him, but his break from SHIELD, included anything beyond friendship.  
   
"Here we are," Mack said as the car came to a stop.  "You need help going up?"  
   
"I'll be fine," Phil said, climbing out.  He triple checked to make sure he had his keys, before closing the door.  Once, Phil made it inside, he flipped on the light, and leaned back against the door.    
   
"Fuck," Phil breathed.  
   
"That bad, huh?"  
   
Phil's eyes flew open, just as Clint turned the light on.  He caught sight of Clint's muscular arm as it dropped back from where he'd reached. Clint was sprawled on the couch, the quilt Phil's mom had made spread over him.  
   
"I thought you were Avengering?" Phil stated, pushing off the door and heading toward Clint.  
   
Clint lifted the quilt to show that his foot was in a boot.  
   
"What happened?" Phil cooed.  
   
"Sprained it, training against T'Challa.  Guy doesn't hold back." Clint grumbled, reaching for Phil.    
   
Phil frowned.  
   
"It's minor. Just can't go fight the bad guys."  
   
"Still…" Phil said.  
   
Clint lifted the blanket.  "Just c'mere."  
   
Phil hesitated, before draping himself on top of Clint, being careful not to bump against Clint's boot.  He nuzzled into Clint's chest, sighing softly as Clint shifted pulling the quilt over Phil. "Missed you."  
   
Clint kissed his forehead.  "Missed you, too.  No offense, but you look horrible."  
   
"Long day, bad day." Phil murmured.  
   
"Well, take a nap with me. When we get up, we'll order in, watch some Dog Cops."  
   
Phil nodded, already falling asleep, because that sounded like an excellent idea. Phil opened his eyes to glance at the clock on the TV to find that he still had six more hours left until midnight. Nuzzling a bit into Clint's chest, he supposed any day that ended with him in Clint's arms couldn't be all bad, especially when Clint shifted to massage his neck with a warm callused hand.  Phil whimpered as Clint's clever fingers worked out some knots and Phil had to admit this day was definitely not horrible.  
 

**Author's Note:**

> This was written during the Agents of Hydra plot on AoS and thus before the reveal that the 3D bodies that "Ophelia" and Fitz were printing were powered with Darkhold batteries, so I'm just going to pretend that they're not powered the Darkhold and Robbie is cool, cool, cool with Trip and Hope.


End file.
